During my morning Bible reading and prayer time, I like to listen to instrumental worship music.  I’m less likely to be distracted by what’s going on in another part of the house if I have music in the background.    My favorites are on some of the YouTube channels.  An ad pops up every time I log in, and usually, I skip it as soon as I can.  Yesterday, the ad was for the movie “Risen.”  It’s a movie that offers a fictional “what if” that includes a tribune who has been tasked by Pilot to find Christ’s missing body as well as to hunt down the disciples.  I love the movie and I’ve seen it so many times, I have it (practically) memorized.  Yesterday, rather than skipping the ad, I kept watching and within seconds, I was sobbing.

I watched the images of Jesus on the cross with the crown of thorns cutting into his brow, the soldiers running through the streets in search of the disciples who were hiding out, the tribune pushing open the door to an upper room where he finds Jesus sitting, alive, with His disciples, the shock and disbelief on the face of the tribune.  I couldn’t stop crying.  I couldn’t go on with my Bible reading, I couldn’t pray for the multitude of people in need on my prayer list.  All I could do is sit there with the tears running down my face, soaking the collar of my shirt, my eyes getting puffy.

I couldn’t do anything but think about the brutal beating of Christ, His blood pouring out, His hands and feet being nailed to that cross and His heart wrenching anguished cry out to His Father as the sin – my sin, your sin – pierced His body and the Father turned away.  After half a box of Kleenex and through gulps of breath, I whispered, “God, what has come over me?  I need my Bible and prayer time.  What is the matter with me?”

And in a second, that still, small voice, “You’re remembering… You’re finding something you momentarily lost…”

Something I’d lost.  We’ve lost something.  We as Christians have lost something very important.  We’ve lost the childlike wonder and awe of our savior.  We’ve lost that incredible, overwhelming recognition of what He did for us.  We have become desensitized to it – not because we don’t care, but because we’ve heard it over and over.  We’ve reached the point of saying “Yeah. Praise God.  I’m saved.  I’m going to heaven one day.  Thank you, Jesus.” And we move on.  We jump into our daily Bible reading or pray through our list of needs, say “Amen,” and move on with our day.  We get caught up in the church programs and fellowships.

Don’t get me wrong, these are good things and are important.  We won’t know God’s heart if we don’t read His word.  We are called to pray, feed the poor, fellowship with unbelievers.  I think the problem, though, is that we’ve lost sight of who we’re really doing it for.  We’ve lost sight of who God really is and what the work on the cross really means.

John Piper said that “childlike wonder and awe have died.  The scenery and poetry and music of the majesty of God have dried up like a forgotten peach at the back of the refrigerator.”

We have to get that back.  We need to sit in God’s presence and allow the reality of Who He is to pour back into us.  To remember our first love.  We have to get back what we’ve lost.

This last year has impacted us all powerfully.  We’ve looked at the cancer that’s eating away at the world and feel like it’s never going to end.  Many feel like the dark winter that we have plunged into, worldwide, is going to last forever and there’s no hope in sight.

The reason: we’ve lost sight of Christ.  We’ve forgotten that He has already won the victory.  He isn’t still laying on that cold slab in the tomb.  He descended into hell, dropped our sins there, conquered death, hell and the grave, and rose to glorious life.

We have forgotten that the same power that raised Him from the dead lives in us.  We have the victory!  We need to remind ourselves of that every day.  We need to ask God to help us to remember who He is and what has been done for us.  We need to get back that childlike awe and wonder and perhaps even spend some time sobbing over the reality of what Christ endured for us.

Revelation 2:1-7

 “To the angel of the church of Ephesus write,

‘These things says He who holds the seven stars in His right hand, who walks in the midst of the seven golden lampstands: “I know your works, your labor, your patience, and that you cannot bear those who are evil. And you have tested those who say they are apostles and are not, and have found them liars; and you have persevered and have patience, and have labored for My name’s sake and have not become weary.  Nevertheless, I have this against you, that you have left your first love. Remember therefore from where you have fallen; repent and do the first works, or else I will come to you quickly and remove your lampstand from its place—unless you repent.  But this you have, that you hate the deeds of the Nicolaitans, which I also hate.

“He who has an ear, let him hear what the Spirit says to the churches. To him who overcomes I will give to eat from the tree of life, which is in the midst of the Paradise of God.”’